Let’s be honest here: who doesn’t want the April Fools’ variant of the Sportshot to return? Ya’know, the only fun thing that had its files deleted right after the event on accident or somethin’?
We all want that for one day out of the year (we didn’t even get it last year)! So, don’t worry about that Nelson buddy ol’ pal. I even rebalanced them to be slightly more usable and slightly less annoying, and to work with the whole “object destruction” and “ballistics.”
Sportshot.dat
Type Gun
Rarity Uncommon
Useable Gun
Slot Primary
ID 484
Size_X 5
Size_Y 2
Size_Z 0.4
Size2_Z 0.9
Sight 486
Magazine 485
Hook_Sight
Hook_Tactical
Hook_Grip
Ammo_Min 5
Ammo_Max 10
Safety
Bursts 10
Caliber 18
Range 200
Firerate 8
Action Trigger
Player_Damage 23
Zombie_Damage 23
Animal_Damage 23
Barricade_Damage 15
Structure_Damage 15
Vehicle_Damage 15
Resource_Damage 15
Object_Damage 15
Durability 0.15
Spread_Aim 0.1
Spread_Hip 0.1
Recoil_Min_X -0.5
Recoil_Min_Y 2
Recoil_Max_X 1
Recoil_Max_Y 3
Recover_X 0.4
Recover_Y 0.4
Shake_Min_X -0.0025
Shake_Min_Y 0.0025
Shake_Min_Z -0.01
Shake_Max_X 0.0025
Shake_Max_Y -0.0025
Shake_Max_Z -0.02
Muzzle 3
Blueprints 2
Blueprint_0_Type Repair
Blueprint_0_Supplies 1
Blueprint_0_Supply_0_ID 67
Blueprint_0_Supply_0_Amount 4
Blueprint_0_Tool 76
Blueprint_0_Build 27
Blueprint_1_Type Tool
Blueprint_1_Supplies 1
Blueprint_1_Supply_0_ID 484
Blueprint_1_Product 67
Blueprint_1_Products 3
Blueprint_1_Build 27
And a proper April Fools’ variant of the Sportshot Magazine again (but can be refilled and doesn’t take forever to kill zombies)…
Sportshot_10.dat
Type Magazine
Rarity Uncommon
ID 485
Size_X 1
Size_Y 1
Size_Z 0.2
Amount 10
Count_Min 2
Count_Max 9
Calibers 1
Caliber_0 18
Tracer 48
Range 4
Player_Damage 6
Zombie_Damage 10
Animal_Damage 10
Barricade_Damage 6
Structure_Damage 6
Vehicle_Damage 6
Resource_Damage 6
Object_Damage 6
Explosion 53
Explosive
Blueprints 2
Blueprint_0_Type Ammo
Blueprint_0_Supplies 1
Blueprint_0_Supply_0_ID 44
Blueprint_0_Build 30
Blueprint_1_Type Ammo
Blueprint_1_Supplies 1
Blueprint_1_Supply_0_ID 485
Blueprint_1_Build 30
Paintable
But now, let’s all stop and remember the amazing Festive-event Snowball that nobody uses because Fragmentation Grenades suck. Since today is also Easter, what if we threw in a Kinder Surprise?
We should all aspire for this off-brand Kinder Surprise conceptualized by Molt Corp. to be added to the game. 
Just… look at it!
Y’all know you can’t resist. Force Nelson to scrap version 4 so we can have explosive burst fire again. Thank you.
—Molt’s genuine request for an Easter Fools’ Flashbang and April Fools’ Sportshot, among other useless event items we Molt secretly wants. If we work together, dreams can come true.