Is deodorant a good alternative to pepper spray?

yes, deodorant serves as a good alternative to pepper spray. this is a question i am constantly being asked by my peers, mainly due to my superior intellect.

your inferior minds may be wondering why, oh great patrick, why does deodorant serve as a good alternative to pepper spray? and that is what i will answer now, in the form of an anecdote.

when i was young, i’d say around 11, i hoped to stink bomb my opponents at school who dared sell chinese oreos at a lower price than me or my employees. i received intel that they were going to tell the principal of my deeds - selling oreos and tim tams for an expensive price and smuggling other contraband (chocolates and jelly beans) onto the school grounds.

to hopefully put and end to this madness i decided to make a stink bomb, a pungeance not even the strongest of noses had the integrity to defend against, the pure musk of male deodorant, and decided first to test it on my sister.

all i needed was a can of deodorant and a small plastic container (at least that’s all i thought i needed) to pull off such a daring feat. i opted to contain a large quantity of deodorant in a small container once full of strips.

i sprayed as much as i could into the container, shook it around, and threw it at my sister’s door, hoping it would ricochet and land at my sister’s feet. the throw worked, yet the container didn’t explode. my sister threw the container back at me in a fit of rage, and still it didn’t explode. i then decided to open the container, hoping i could lift the lid slightly and then it would work, but i opened it, the hinge of the container’s lid facing outwards, and was met with a cloud of deodorant.

it stung my eyes for weeks and tasted horrible.

so yes, deodorant is a good alternative to pepper spray.

3 Likes

Is vegemite a good alternative to all other spread?

yes, vegemite serves as a good alternative to every spreads in existence. this is a question i am constantly being asked by my mates, mainly due to my superior tastes.

you little cunts may be wondering why, oh , why does vegemite serve as a good alternative to any kind of shit you eat? and that is what i will answer now, in the form of a holy script.

when i was young, i’d say around 32837830, i hoped to fuck my opponents at school who dared sell shit at a lower price than me. i received a revelation that they were going to tell my mom of my crimes - selling snags and tim tams for an expensive price and smuggling other shit (fairy bread and meat pies) onto the school grounds.

to hopefully put and end to this madness i decided to make a vegemite toast, a masterpiece not even the strongest of wankers had the integrity to defend against, the pure taste of yeast extract, and decided first to test it on my sister.

all i needed was a tub of vegemite and a slice of bread(at least that’s all i thought i needed) to pull off such a daring cuisine. i opted to contain a large quantity of vegemite onto the bread once full of layers.

i scooped as much as i could onto the slice of bread, smeared it, and threw it at my sister’s face, hoping it would go through and land into my sister’s mouth. the throw worked, yet the toast didn’t pass through. my sister threw the vegemite toast back at me in a fit of rage, and still it didn’t get into my mouth. i then decided to eat the vegemite toast, hoping i could taste it slightly and then it would work, but i ate it, the surface of the toast facing towards me, and was met with a chunk of vegemite.

it stains my mouth for weeks and tasted delicious.

so yes, vegemite is a good alternative to everything.

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So like, two years ago ?

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Yes, 2 years ago, Mr/Mrs Tron Legacy.

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I’d say go geta gun, but minors cannot do that. In your case just do cardio and run for the hills.

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@PatrickR2020

how dare you