Those four heros go as follows
Melikebigboom, melikebigboom, Melikebigboom and melikebigboom
Melikebigboom IV, approaching nelson, busted out a 1985 betamax-brand tape recorder. On it was a recording roughly 30 seconds long; transcript is as follows.
“On the night of April 4th 2009, you are reportedly quoted as saying ‘I, honestly, just downright hate n-’ I can’t say that on live tv.”
“Bro. No. Broo.”
“Is this statement correct? Have you ever said this?”
“Nooo. No.”
“Are you lying, Mr. MoltonMontro?”
“Mr. Montro?”
“Answer the question, Mr. Montro.”
It ended there; but Nelson knew exactly what he had to do; he had to seek the full transcript.
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So he traveled to yarrrr, to seek the transcript and the n-word pass
EDIT: because rules
But to do this he had to do something drastic, then decided that the n-word pass isn’t exactly what he needs.
At the corner of his eye he saw a pen, then his eyes shifted towards it. This triggered a flashback where Nelson was a special operative, a multi-agent of various agencies wherein he took part in major clandestine ops. Mossad, CIA, MI6, and even the KGB. It came to him that he was around 130 years old and a product of an experiment of un-aging.
Nelson thought “Oh ok.".
An explosion breaks out and sporadic gunfire erupted within the building. An intercom crackles in then a raspy voice screams “We are under attack! Hostile elements coming through the west wing! They’ve blown up the east hallway! Tell him what’s happening, MLBB the 4th! What really happened in Sasketchawan, it is vi-“ but was cut short by a gunshot what seemed to be within the intercom speaker’s room.
MLBB the IV in shock with wide eyes and sweaty face looks around the room trying to register what is happening, then looks at Nelson who looks calm and collected despite the situation they are in.
Then MLBB the IV gains a bit of composure and asks "Wait what happened in Saskatchewan? I wasn’t present in every briefing.”
Nelson shrugs.
Sudddenly a loud thud through the room’s ballistic glass that made MLBB the IV jump. There appears AnimaticFreak with a Gold AK, to his side, Yarrrr with a Golden Frying Pan.
AnimaticFreak then leans towards the microphone and the intercom buzzes in and says “They keep asking me if Kuwait is going to be curated. Just wanted to tell you this. Oh and also that pencil moment in John Wick.”
Nelson then grabs the pen and stabs MLBB the IV in the head, the pen being 15 inches and made of steel, it successfully penetrated his head and through his brain stem, a clean effective kill. Then Nelson lets go of the pen as MLBB the IV’s body slumps and falls to the floor.
A hiss of air and sounds of metal creaking as Yarrrr opens the secure door which Nelson was in, he greets “It has been awhile, Mister Sexton. Quite the rescue, or should I say, violent retrieval of a mutual acquaintance?”
“Nerdy thing to say but thanks I guess.”
“You’re welcome. Now, we have business to attend to. I take it that you recall the Pineridge program?"
“Yes. An interpol group of multi-nationals. And shouldn’t we discuss this in a strict environment?”
“Yes… and unfortunately no. For we have had a leak and a traitor, we’re in the light now.” Yarrr says as he slams a file on the table. “OMO - An agent operating in Russia, with operations stretching all the way to Syria. Highly skilled in firearms training, most notably AK platforms."
“Won multiple precision matches, former Alpha Group member, and was responsible for the disarmament of Carpat.” Nelson continued.
“Yes, that is correct. And his recent mission was to infiltrate a nuclear arms factory in Pakistan to -ahem- retrieve a WMD as small as a book but capable of obliterating a country as large as India. After doing so he will go gray then exfil 5 days later at Islamabad, discretely within an unmarked jet. The mission was a month ago."
“And I assume OMO was murked and I have to retrieve his body and complete his mission?”
“No. He has made it out alive, and with the WMD then cut all connections with Pineridge then uploaded some Pineridge information online. A Panama Papers-esque kind of leak, but we were able to shut it down. My sources say he was seen in Belarus. We have no further information but we will attempt to develop more. For now…” Yarrr chucks a car key to Nelson. “Drive north, you’ll come across an airfield about 2 kilometers away. A jet will be waiting for you to send you to Belarus.”
“You know I haven’t exactly agreed to coming back on the Pineridge program.”
“Ofcourse you haven’t. Which is why we have forgers in the division to agree for you.”
“Oh, you bastard.”
“Hurry now, we don’t want another Hiroshima or Nagasaki now, don’t we?” Yarrrr said in closing remarks as he disappears into the dark and dusty hallways of the building as AnimaticFreak trails behind him.
Raieus fixed his post, I no longer feel that this post needs to exist. However, I’m leaving it here in case there are future incidents like this.
this post is invalid now
You have to redo all of your post, or just delete it. due to the fact that pesky posted first, yes I agree that Pesky derailed, he always does. But the rules are the rules, you have to follow them.
If you want I can write a post that can segway into your post from pesky, you just have to delete your post and then repost it.
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As Nelson walks along the corridor, a handsome man dressed in a green military uniform, covered in blood appeared in front of them, coming out of a room. He is brandishing a Luger and asks Neslon ‘where do you think you’re going?’ To which Nelson replies ‘out of here.’ The man appears shocked about this and says that you’re still supposed to be in that room.
He is shocked by this and reaches to his walkie talkie and screams to MLBB IV, but it was apparent that he got no response. Distraught by this he reaches for the Luger and tries to shoot Nelson in the head, but missed due to lag. Using the opportunity, Nelson used the carkeys to stab the man in the neck, and he fell to the ground.
Upon reading the patch on his uniform, he found out the man was actually NeedlessMemeing. He had a slip of paper in his pocket with directions to an address located in Minsk, Belarus. Nelson grabbed the slip and took off down the hallway to escape whatever could still be waiting for him.
While Nelson is running down the Hallway, he runs into local form user @FlodotelitoKifo. Flodo grabs Nelson by the shoulder and whispers to him “You said 3 months, not 1”. Flodo then jumps backwards and pulls out an Injector. Flodo starts shooting at Nelson, but Nelson is able to dodge the bullets and run behind a corner.
“You can’t outrun me and my flags damn it!” Said Flodo. Nelson keeps on running, and it seems that all hope is lost. Nelson bumps into someone else however, local form user @MoltonMontro. Molton says and does nothing but extends his right hand. In the palm of his hand, there was a Lemon.
Flodo soon catches up to Nelson, and with no other options left, Nelson takes the Lemon form Molton and throws the Lemon at Flodo. At first, the Lemon seems to have done nothing. After a few seconds, Flodo drops to the floor, screaming in agony, soon after he shrivels up into a pile of flesh.
Nelson turns around to thank Molton “Thanks, I don’t know what I would have done without you, I would be dead right now if it wasn’t for you.” “It’s no problem, I had a few Lemons left over from the boycott a while back.” Said Molton.
Non Story
I think I might have just leaked Rio lol
this is what you get for not adding lemons to Rio Flodo
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Molton decided that it’d be better if Nelson was in possession of the lemons, so he fetches some from his bag and hands them to Nelson. ‘It’d be better if you were to put these to use.’ Molton received a notification on his pager telling him that someone was being naughty on the forums so he quickly said to Nelson ‘I’ll be back, don’t worry,’ and disappeared down the hallway.
Nelson is wondering if it’ll ever stop. He’s almost at the door and he busts open that bitch so hard. He looks at the car keys and they have a Honda badge on them. Then he looks infront of him and he finds the match. A blue Honda Civic is waiting infront of him. He presses the button on the keys to open it and opens the door. He checks the boot as well, where he finds local forum user @kvc.6. He was bound with a sack over his head. Not wanting to stick around any longer though, Nelson turns the ignition and drives out towards where he thinks Belarus might be.
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Nelson pulls a sick 180 off the unturned 3.0 vehicle physics. He accidentally spills his can of “Liquid Chips ™”, which (if you read the fine print on the green packet of Liquid Chips) gives you instant ligma. Nelson cringes at the thought of acquiring a dead meme, however he does not question it and continues on his way. A faint cyka blyat can be heard in the distance.
The faint Cyka Blyat turns out to be @RedCo ridding on top of @Pork (I’m assuming Pork is a Tank for the sake of the story.) Comm catches up to Nelson. Horrified to have a fucking tank tailing him he Shifts into 68th gear to escape comm.
The Civic enters into overdrive and he speeds off, breaking the sound barrier and reaching Western Europe. From there, he takes a detour in France to finish some unfinished business with a certain community member.
On a balcony in Boreaux, France, Codian wakes up from playing the game called “Life” for a very long time and looks around for the forum members. He puts the VR headset down on the counter of the kitchen and goes to have some Liquid Chips. Just as he sits down on the balcony, an alarming sound rings through the open air.
On the street, a Honda Civic drifts and straightens out, followed by a tank with the writing “P.O.R.K” imprinted in white military writing. Codian gets his shitty profile picture changed and runs out of the small apartment he owns.
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The Honda crashes into the side of a building and is completely totalled. Comm orders for P.O.R.K to fire at Nelson, Comm yells over the Hardbase “You should have added Communism to Unturned when you still had the chance!” But before Comm can order P.O.R.K to fire Codian manages to climb onto the tank.
Comm is surprised by this and loses his balance and falls off of P.O.R.K. Without someone to direct the machine P.O.R.K falls into inactivity. Codian jumps at Comm, his fists are ready. Comm sensing his defeat flees. Codian runs back into his Apartment and grabs a first Medkit and runs back towards the totalled Honda.
Codian manages to bust open the door of the Honda, and inside he sees Nelson, bleeding from pretty much every place you could imagine. Codian uses the Medkit on Nelson, and almost instantly all the wounds on Nelson’s body simultaneously seal.
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Nelson pushes Codian aside and exits the Civic. In an oddly badass low-tone he recites the spell he longed to use ever since canned beans were added to Unturned 3.
“/give.”
“One.”
“Thirty.”
“Two”
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(Yes that is actually nelson)
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Nelson wasn’t going to give up now. He was committed. He made it his personal duty to track down Redcomm. With 132 in hand, he marched down the streets looking for Comm.
Nelson stopped to get lunch and entered a small pizza store. He was waiting in line until he saw HIM. RedComm, seeing Nelson as well, runs, pineapple pizza in hand, (because you can’t get any more evil than that) away from Nelson. RedComm appeared to be in the lead but it turned out Nelson had max stamina. After a small chase, he pinned RedComm down to the pavement.
‘Why did you do that?’ Shouted Nelson into RedComm’s worried face. The face didn’t answer back. Fed up with trying to be killed, he took the shot and put one inbetween Comm’s eyes.
‘Better dead than read,’ he mutters.
But he hears the cocking of a Timberwolf.
He looks in the direction of it. It’s NeedlessMemeing, back for revenge!
Quickly sick of trying to be killed by Forum members who love to insert, Nelson opened up chat and typed /teleport MoltonMontro and all of a sudden, he’s gone. Needless stairs for a second and the place where Nelson had been, and then promptly says “Fuck”.
Nelson is back in the US, this time in New Mexico. @anon95004049 had been assassinated. At the scene of the crime Yarrrr and GHJ, we’re both there. Trying to find the cause of death and who might have done it.
Non Story
He had both Exercise and Cardio maxed 
The police had given up on the case, saying it went cold despite it only happening 12 hours ago. This indicated there was something fishy with this. There were bulletholes throughout his body, clearly indicating this was done by an automatic weapon. They then look a little further and they find an empty military magazine and Maplestrike ironsights. They now knew that the killer used a Maplestrike, which only comes from Canada. Nelson, Yarrr, GHJ and Molton buy plane tickets with the money Nelson withdrew from the account sales of the Gold DLC goes to.
A man in a hoodie just like Nelson’s runs through the airport, with TSA chasing after him but Nelson and Co had much more important things to focus on. Namely, making sure Jasper was fed. And maybe finding the murderer.
2 Likes
Non-Story Post
I might just make a side story Chronicles of Benson now lol.
Nelson & Co.
Nelson & Co. land in Calgary and soon after landing they head back to Nelson’s place. They successfully manage to feed Jasper and then head off to find the killer. Nelson briefly thinks about the fact that he’s a convict but soon shrugs it off, remembering that Germans aren’t actually considered People in Canada, so he’s not in trouble with the Police.
Chronicles of the forgotten One: Benson Bexton Part I
TSA is hot on Benson’s trail, however, he does not play by the rules. Benson spins around and pulls out a Can-O-Flames and throws it at TSA. Through this stunt, he is able to escape and get on a plane bound for Tokyo.
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