Proprietary information on Yarr

On the Forums, as I am sure you all know, there is a being that goes by the alias, Yarr. I have monitored his activities and can assure everyone here, he is not the kind pirate his PR team would have you believe; in all truth, who really is, Paul P. Melbourne?

Little is truly known about whence he came or for what purpose, but the problem is the power that he wields. His powers are known to be the ones listed below:
Capture

These powers concerned me, and I realized that no one man should be granted all of this power, so I dug deeper; and for any of my viewers under the age of 10, you may find this disturbing.

His first power revolves around the “Global edit” of any item on the Forum, but it does not state it’s limit.

Yarr first experimented with his powers on the date January 18, 2018. A date that will live in infamy.

Avert your eyes children

As you can clearly see, his powers know no bounds, and this abomination was created because of his twisted ways.

He even blames Reaver for his misdeeds, but I will soon tell you why that is not the case.

But for now, we move onto his second ability, "Global pin."

It seems like a pretty harmless little thing right? There is nothing wrong with pinning items that need to be seen, you may say; but this is Yarr, he pins whatever suits his agenda, mainly, any lie that will boost his power over the Forums even more.

Again, we move forward onto his third ability, "Global close."

This is one of his most devastating abilities, it essentially means that any dirt or evidence you have against Yarr’s destructive acts can be shut out and never seen again. There is no warning, there is no yell, just a small click and you’ve gone from constructing a viable mechanic into a silent body in the forum. I am not immune to this, so you better read faster if you want all of the facts.

His fourth ability is a rather weak one, but one to be trifled with nonetheless.

The ability to archive items has only one real use to him, and that is to confuse people when an item is closed by him. It makes people believe there is an actual reason to his actions and not just some random occurrence, I have dug through the archives, and I frequently said to myself:

Archives

Meaning he forgot to archive some items after closing them, leaving holes in the files.

These last few are some of his most powerful abilities, "Split and Merge."

The first power, “Split,” is rather simple to explain; it essentially means that any item he creates, can be duplicated, Yarr however, has used this power only once, and it was on himself. Now you might ask yourself, who could be just as sadistic and ahem Ego-boosted as Yarr?

Evidence of Duplication

5080_1
BOOM

Is your mind blown yet? Well, we are still not done, we still have to cover the second part of his abilities, his ability to "Merge."

Now this one is also pretty simple, it just means he can absorb any item or being that he chooses; and this is where Reaver loops back into the story. Reaver was “resigning” from his position, but it was actually a ploy from Yarr to absorb Reaver and his powers, hence why he was chosen as the next “Leader.”

His last ability does not mean anything as of this moment, I am still trying to crack his wifi password.

Disgusting you may say, horrifying to others, but what I present to you, people of the internet is the truth. As I write this, Yarr is knocking on my door, but I have to get this message out to the people, NELSON IS NOT WHO YOU THINK------

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I think I have a minor stroke from all of these plot twists.

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Yea… Just mop up the corners of your mouth and you’ll be fine, and if not, we know where to dispose of you at.

Hem…

Sentence unclear, can you try again?

Hello?

shrug Must have not been important.

Oh well

One thing he does not have, on the other hand, is
https://forum.smartlydressedgames.com/badges/34/higher-love
Because I don’t have a life

@anon36099209 I have a problem

touches side of mouth

Yep, I’m suffering the symptoms too.

Please call Yarrr to help me…
Oh well look hi there Yar re…
:exploding_head::wind_face:

ok what the actual fk.

you’re adopted

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Pssh, like I haven’t heard that on the internet a billion times before…

ᴵˢ ᴹᵒˡᵗᵒⁿ ᵐʸ ˢᵗᵉᵖ⁻ᵐᵒᵐ

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How_to_become_a_psychologist_612px

be my psycho anal ist daddy :weary:

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I saw that strange light again, a light that always beckons to me; it almost seems like it wants me to follow it, but I don’t.

It’s ambiance is horrifying, stating that the light will enter upon me a new state of being, one with complete power, at the cost of my own soul.

I state no, and back away, but the light follows and out comes Yarr’s face accompanied with a cannon and lit fuse; that’s when I woke up, and came to you.

Please no potato.

he whould melt around you anyway

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give me a tl;dr because I’m lazy

Yarr is a farce, don’t trust anything he says or does; he also created Molton.

tl:dr

war is hell and this thread is the tet offensive

3 Likes

you fucker, at least credit me for my work /s

Join Whistleblower and I on our new show, Unturned Lore Master; premiering on Tuesday 10:30 pm, only on the History channel.

There you will experience, science, lore, and other smart stuff.

Or follow our Myspace @Porkisasellout.

Haha

I’m sorry. I just can’t…

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:rage: you dont have a myspace

i did find this gem though
image

What even is that.

heart attacc