Hello all. This is going to be a rather long post, so. If you’re not the reading type. I suggested you turn away. I don’t care if you were to say “TL:DR hurr durr noone cares” I’m just here to post this, and nothing more. It’s been in a back of my head for months and I figured I should let it out (or vent), so I can moved on for good. And even if you were to listed everything I’ve said in this post that isn’t what you think is. I don’t have the reasons to do the same to you.
Most of you probably wouldn’t know who I was, new faces come, old sensable ones are probably gone by now. I went by many name, but it doesn’t matter much. Kudos to those that knew, don’t felt too bad if you don’t. Probably better that way.
I used to be active in this very forum back in early 2018 to early 2020. Probably way too active for one’s mental health but back then it was a different time, different me. I’ve said a lot of things, mostly cringy. But I’d be lying if I were to say that I haven’t enjoyed it. But, I want to say that I apologized to those that I may’ve causes distress in the past… If you’re still here that is.
I made a lot of… questionable posts, I think the one that I enjoyed the most is probably the “fake morton rant” (Which is deleted for some… reasons.) and the UPP-001-J post. But mostly just cringy typical forum stuffs.
So what happened?
Why I did suddenly dips?
Long story short
I could go on and tell you a tale of when I started in this game, but obviously. I don’t think you’d have enough attention span to read along, and I wouldn’t blame you. It’s rather boring in just plain text.
I founded comfort in being here, being rather annoying and suggesting some stuffs (as well as discouraging other’s suggestion for Unturned 4.0 (or II) and yes, this have been a thing back then, and probably still is by glancing at it for a second.)
I also once played this game on an unhealthy basis, it affects my work-life aswell as my mental health, as I was an admin on a vanilla server. The administrative work as well as the constant pressure took a heavy toll on me. And the fact that I coping with being here is rather ironic.
Was the forum toxic back then, kinda. But that is to be expected, I’m not going to just simply dips because a guy hurt my feelings, that’d be sad. There have been time that it has been demoralizing but I simply reflected back the toxicity, by being rather toxic I suppose.
But, no. The reason why. Is mainly, because… I’ve made a mistake, I posted something that is very sensative to me, and I panicked. And after thinking about it for days, I decided to called it dips. I already felt many deja-vus here aswell as the fact that I quited my Admin job. So I excuses myself out quietly, and lately at some point I contacted one of the admin to deactivate my OG account. (And it’s very likely I’d asked them the same for this one.)
I also decided to quit the game entirely afterwards. My reasons is the same as others. (Although there is also personal vendetta while I was an admin, which makes me want to personally quit)
My life have been somewhat positive afterward. There has been ups and downs, but I’m no longer felt the need to constantly look up at my phone every hour to check this forum, or having to logged on the server to either refilled the generator, day after day. Or to hunted down KOS-ers. (And that I have other hobbies that is more meaningful to me now.)
I could list a lot of things I felt about this forum, and how being a regular on ANY forum is probably the worst thing one could be in their teen years (and god forbids their adult years.) but… I’m over it at this point, I don’t care what goes on here anymore. But maybe you do. And probably is.
Is it a good thing?
I may not enjoyed being here or playing this game (as the game is STILL plagued with the same problem as it was back then.), but that doesn’t mean the same should be for you. The game have changed a lot since then. It is totally alien for me to see all these cool maps using various “new” features. And that’s a good thing. (I can’t say the same for most servers though, always P2W.)
I also probably wouldn’t rejoin it. Even when UII released. (Also felt bad for Nelson, he can’t dipped out of this mess that easily, even if he wants to.)
This forum hasn’t changed much, well… besides the users maybe. Same old things still going on, Unturned II’s endless and somewhat lurkwarm suggestions (no offense, haven’t looked into it.), grade C memes that somehow overwhelm the former… And maybe occasionally nercos.
Has it died down?
I’d say it’s less active. Not dead, but definitely less active. Go figure.
My take here, is this
If you enjoyed playing/argueing/shitposting/modding/working here then do so. A time you enjoying doing something is a time well spent. But, there will come a time where you realized when you have to moved on. And I hope, I sincerely hope. That you figured it out soon.
(Before the end of this post. I decided to watch zman’s video on the “Unturned Forum” and I’d like to say that it is mostly accurate. I’m not entirely sure if this problem is still a thing currently, but back when I was active it certainly is. Maybe because I was one of the person that always critique other’s (or newer forum users) suggestions harshly? Perhaps so. And I still regret that… Also, I was one of the person who never really like rain, even back then. So the fact that he was… that, is just a niche kinder surprise for me. Maybe he’s wrong, or not. Don’t care.)